Sunday morning we scattered ashes off the pier at Juanita Beach in Kirkland,which hit Nick hard. For me, driving by her old condo pulled my heartstrings even more.
It was blustery and cold, but we tried to think of a word or phrase that made us think of her. Miller's "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" made us all smile - How many times we'd heard her say that growing up! And its pretty good advice for an adult in social situations too...
I said "sufficiently surrencified", which Mom said her Mom wanted them to say instead of "I''m stuffed!" after dinner. It never really caught on with us, but would make us laugh.
Her brother Lymie and sister Janie spoke at the funeral, describing her as the feisty and stubborn baby of the family. How odd to think of her in that way, when I saw her as the peacemaker and calm one.
Billy made Mom a lovely urn and one little one for each of the 4 kids. It was surprisingly heavy when filled, making it feel more substantial and somehow valuable.
Sorting through her things was really painful. Hard to give or throw anything away that felt personal, but we had to. I wished I could have taken an antique chair, but how would I have gotten it to the UK? A brass lamp pushed my bag to the weight limit.
There was great comfort in spending time with Stormi, Miller, Linnie and Missi. We didn't want to go home, back to our normal lives. And the grandkids wanted to be together too. When will we all meet again without Mom's birthday to celebrate? A wedding perhaps?
It struck me that for all the business, charity and church friends that Mom had, the ones that really mattered at the end were family.